Only an Imitation of Life!!!
Before I got saved I was one that was so ashamed of my life that I lived and was living. I started having sex with big boys and men at the age of nine and was trying to get pregnant. That too was when I started smoking. I lived in a foster home for about eight or nine years. To me, my body was more developed than the other girls my age and I fantasized from the time I was seven. I loved my mother but didn't know how to show it. After moving back with her from the foster home, I had become so rebellious I couldn't even love myself. My father was nowhere around. He didn't care about us, eight of us; at least the ones we knew about.
When he died in 1978, I was left $1,000 from his credit union and an old car he left on the highway; I gave it to my brother. There were a few belongings but I never went to see about them. Even though I was saved by then, I was still superstitious. My half brother who was very instrumental in getting me saved. Later, I led him to Jesus one day while he was hospitalized.
I'd get in and out of cars with strange men and sold my body to married men if I wanted. I remember one man who paid for me and them he paid for his young brother in law. I don't know if the brother in law told his sister or not. I was only 14 then and was staying with a 19 year old, I had no conscience. I was laying with his brother, I was a dog in my old life. Thank Jesus I'm free now.
But the same 19 year old had attempted to pull a trigger on me. Praise Jesus I'm alive to give my testimony and minister to those in need. I was ashamed of my life before I got saved for a long time after I got saved. Praise be to God that He has given me hope and a future. If it had not been for the Lord being on my side, where would I be? Thank Jesus that He has taken me from being what I was to being a preacher.
See, I'm not ashamed now because I know what Jesus has done for me. How He has set me free. He's good to me all the time, He spoils me rotten but it's all good. I'm honored to be called in the service of God, to do His will in my life, to carry out His plans, purpose, and pursuit. I rejoice in the Lord always and, again, I say I rejoice. Praise be to God which always causes us to triumph in Christ Jesus.
Now I don't smoke and I don't mistreat my mother or my kids any more and I don't drink any more; yes, I started drinking at a very young age too. I was drunk at 14 years of age, a wine bibber, a liar, a thief, a prostitute pimping myself. I was addicted to reefer men.
I had no life, no plan, no future, no morals, no nothing until I met Jesus personally. I had read a little about Him, I had heard some thing about Him, and I tried sometimes to talk to Him when I wanted something or got into trouble. I'm so glad that when I was having flashbacks, when I needed serious help, that He was there. Mama couldn't help, the doctor's prescription (pills) didn't help, the preacher's recommendation (get a job) didn't help. Men were not the solution.
Women? (Well, we aren't even going there.) Thank Jesus for saving me just in time. The devil was trying to work on me to become a lesbian but I don't think so! I guess Satan had tried everything else with my life so he tried to give that (lesbianism) a shot to see if he could turn me out that a way. No thank you devil. It didn't hang.
I'm free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty I'm free at last. I'm a preacher on a mission, reaching my called by Jesus destiny. I'm a woman of destiny, a daughter of destiny. Use me Jesus, use me until you use me up down here, until my work is done on this earth and I do what I'm called to do in glory. Feed me, feed me Lord Jesus, feed me, feed me 'til I want no more. Water me, water me, water me Jesus water me, water me 'til I want no more. Here I am Lord, send me, I'll go.
Only Jesus is able to deliver you from a shameful past, from a dysfunctional background. I, indeed, was all of that but He came into my life and a marvelous thing happened!
Your sister in Christ,
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